Always giving myself to others and ignoring me
I have spent my life giving to others and when we did the 'circle' with Ganga I realised how hard it has been for me to accept help and even help myself. What an emotional time that was for me! As a result, I have started to look after myself and I am making sure I am OK before I offer myself up to others. I am eating properly now that I have seen how to do it at Quest and the amazing thing is that I have lost weighty. I thought I'd come home several kilos heavier but I actually lost weight. I am now taking very good care of my diet. As well as that I am meditating every day and nothing in the house happens until that has taken place. My time with Kristie who counselled me, was life changing and I am continuing the work that she guided me onto. What a change! Thankyou so much to all the Quest people for the change I so very needed to have. I feel very good and much happier.
I am someone who has always put Other people first and and not looking after myself since i was a little girl . After spending 5 wonderful days at Quest for life i came back a different person or as my sister wanted ' her happy sister back ' . I just went with what i learnt and didn't want to listen to other peoples gossip and all was good up until Tuesday 11th .
Unfortunately i was ambushed at the shopping centre due to an elderly lady whom i have helped so many times and yes done so much for her over the past 7yrs and we live in the same complex . I tried to defend myself and remembered what was said at the retreat but no it didn't matter what i said i was wrong .
I have really tried to get back to where i was when i left Q4L but i feel like i am a failure .
I still remember all the lovely people whom i met and all the wonderful staff who couldn't do enough for me and that brings a smile to face , Hopefully i can get back to being that happy girl , i will now put on one of Petrea's cd and try to relax and start breathing properly again
Your post made me feel very sorry that you are in this situation. Don't feel a failure just because of one person being demanding and difficult. You still are the person who left Quest. I find that if I get out my workbook and read it regularly it helps me remember what we did there. Remember the page on emotions? The one I am refereeing to was called "Mansion of Emotions"on page 15. It says, we are not our feelings, we have feelings. Watch out what you attach 'I am...' to. We often label ourselves by how we feel, for example 'I am sad, I am angry'. You are 'Kaz'a beautiful, warm and caring human being. Remember what you did for me Kaz? And you did it without thinking - you just ran and got help with no thought to your own pain and suffering. You cared only for me, not yourself. I'll never forget that. WIth this old lady you talked about. What was the feeling you had when she met you? If you identify it and then give yourself permission to feel that way. Feel it with awareness knowing that you have peace in your heart. She is not going to stop your peace because of your emotion. Remember again, you are not your emotions, you have emotions. Don't allow this lady to overwhelm you, you are you and she can't make you do or feel anything. It'snot the feeling, it's what I do with the feeling that counts. Kaz, you are the person you left Quest with. Be strong. We all know you and love you. There is no failure in your heart. Don't let her disrupt that beautiful heart of peace. Jenny
Hi Jenn ,
Thank you for your kind words i am just so happy that i was able to help you I have been busy all week nothing unusual there and i have made some ' Me Time ' for myself each day and i am now getting back to where i was when i left Quest for LIfe . I have been reading through my workbook and yes gradually putting what i need to do back in to practice and hopefully soon all will be great . I have flare ups with my pain still but i am now in control of them and i don't let my pain take control of me
I also have done something i never thought i could do , I no longer let people use me and whilst i am losing so called friends over this too bad it's all about me now
I hope you are well .
Take Care , Karen
That's great Karen. Remember that Petrea and Wendie said 'Don't hang out with Turkeys!'. I think you are wise by dropping those ones who say they are friends but when things are not great they use you and make you miserable. You are better without them in your life. If they do face you and say bad things, just reply with 'I'm sorry you feel that way, but I am not interested in your business any more.' or something like that where they know that you are untouchable by their nasty business. They play games and we are not interested in their game playing any more. Well done Karen. Remember we are all here for you even if we are on the end of the computer line. We are here. Jenn XXX