I am where you are, i feel like my life is now worthless as i cant be the person i want to be i can no longer do the things that made me who i was and loved. i dont know who i am anymore or what to make of myself, no direction, nothing to aim for to motivate me to push on after so long theres no light at the end of my tunnel im just stuck in a deep hole with no way out. i feel like there's no point to my life when all it consists of is staying at home or going to some form of dr or specialist appointment. my life is now nothing more that feeling alone and empty and that my existence is merely to try to manage/pace myself to get through each day. Whats the point in that for a life? there's no quality there
Its shit your wife cant understand and handle whats happening enough to stand by you, and if someone had said to me this is what the rest of your lifes going to be like how you'll feel everyday from now on i wouldn't have understood so i get why she cant. but at least you have your daughter to live for and she will love you regardless and you wont be able to resent that. you will find the people to surround yourself with who wont understand but will still care and try to help, thats who i have now a group of ppl who have only known me as the broken person i am but they dont care i cant be my old self i desperatly long for while most the people i knew before arent really around its funny how it works out, and then there's all of us on here who do get it. and if you find even just one person who lives near you that you can catch up and vent with it makes all the difference.
well im gong on cymbalta next so I have something to focus on and have hope with.
This site has been good, I read the stuff about PTSD, and it affirmed to me a slight suspicion I have had for 2 years, I'm pretty sure have post traumatic workcover disorder. The mental health nurse reckons I could have atypical depression, so i'm open to exploring and acknowledging that if it is the case, I have a pretty rigid sense of what depression is, and I regard myself as being one of the most resilient people around.
Anyway thank you all for sharing your thoughts and words, they have been helpful.
Thanks to GeneralLeeCrap for the long chat we had (it is open for a month for others to use if you give him a shout) I actually don't know how you brought yourself through the period before you had hope of recovery, you have commendable fighting spirit, the stubbornness of a mule and the toughness of a diamond and the perseverance that leaves my resilience in the shadows.
I just thought I'd let you all know i'm still here, i'm worse than suicidal without hope of positive change I want to die, but cant because of my family, I'm like Conor McCloud in the Highlander... start singing Queen...Who Wants To Live Forever
It's great to hear that you are at least thinking along the lines of checking to see whether you are depressed wheresmycupofsomething. I just thought it was worth mentioning that your degree of resilience is not related to whether or not you are depressed. Clinical depression is a chemical disturbance within the brain and nervous system and it can be treated. I think that if you are depressed and you have that treated, you will then be able to use your wonderful resilience to use strategies to manage your pain. However, you don't have much hope of managing pain while you are depressed because it is just too much for anyone to handle at one time. Let's face it CP is a very difficult thing to manage. But it can be done and you can get your life back.
I am glad that you have been able to speak with GeneralLeeCrap because he has had a long struggle too and he is doing well. However, don't place all your eggs in one basket so to speak. Chronic Pain is a chronic condition and as such, must be treated from all angles; medication, depression (or psychological advice), physiotherapy and sometimes occupational therapy.
Let us know how you go with the Cymbalta and the depression bit. Good luck with it all.
Not every day is a good day, but there is good in every day.
"“It’s delightful when your imaginations come true, isn’t it?” ― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables