Depression

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5 years 7 months ago #23432 by sydneysports
Replied by sydneysports on topic Depression
Cheers to everyone! No matter what we are going through, there is still a reason to smile. No matter how painful life may bring

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5 years 7 months ago #23459 by Mrs S
Replied by Mrs S on topic Depression
the support here has helped me immensely just recently when the weight of CP and depression was crushing my spirit. Luckily with the support from forum members here and my psychologist, and a visit to my GP, we have increased my meds . I am so thankful for the med change as without it I dont think i would have had the presence of mind to endure the 4 days on my own at home safely while the rest of the family attended a family iinterstq wedding due to my pain levels ,mobility issues , and a horrible case of the flu. I kept telling myself that no matter how worthless i felt, i could not leave them with such a heavy load to bear in my absence.

Life is still a struggle and the challenges are still ever present, but I am still living even if it is not how I visualised life would be. And this morning when i took my Mum to hospital due to breathing difficulties coupled with her terminal liver cancer I realised that I am valued by those I love and support , and that i shall be needed and relied upon for my parents and our family in the future, and therefore I am worth more than the value The Black Dog had imposed on me.

So thank you all for being there for me and offering your support , and I hope that by sharing this, that i can offer support and help share the load for others here that may be struggling with the dark and innaccurate perspective of our self worth that depression inflicts so well.

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5 years 7 months ago #23549 by Ant
Replied by Ant on topic Depression
Yeah it's pretty rough isn't it.
I've been trying out the mindfulness meditations that seems to be the rage these days and it certainly seems to have helped with emotional lability... I had to laugh when the recent good quality trial of mindfulness showed it didn't help for chronic pain. I changed my mind about the warnings to be careful with meditation if severely depressed... I thought they were rubbish and then from personal experience felt how you can just stop caring if you examine some things too much.
Hope is the hard thing... I dunno if I can pretend to have it for improvement or just "put up with it" as my neuro suggested after I "maxed out" on Lyrica. Falling at work isn't helpful. Pain wears you down and then what do you do.
I initially tried "staying positive" and "resilience" but seems like we're all different and they didn't work for me; I was getting worse and worse but "staying positive" was a continued state of denial about how bad things were and my medical team are telling me to realise that it's ok to feel bad about things. Finding the balance seems like it will take time and practice...

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5 years 7 months ago #23561 by illeatyu
Replied by illeatyu on topic Depression
Firstly guys, Illeatyu is a gaming name I use for all my characters goes back to when I played an undead litch in Warcraft.

Ant,

Buddy I get it, I just had to resign from a job because the travel was too much for me 2.5hrs a day, I used to shit that in but now I have to learn to live with my new limitation. And at work no one knew how bad it was, because like you I suspect I put on my mask with my work clothes, because most people don't want to actually know how you feel when they ask and because of the horrific reactions I get when I am honest I just say "good and you ".

Here you don't need to do that here when we ask how you feel we actually want to know the answer, the real one.

Anyway buddy if you want someone to talk to who has been there PM me and I'll give you my phone number.

Illeatyu

“All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago, in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. And came together to form you, you are unique in the universe.
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5 years 7 months ago #23566 by Ant
Replied by Ant on topic Depression
Hi illeatyu,
Thanks man you're a good dude. At the moment it's pretty hard for me to talk about these things and getting it out in text seems easier... I only just told my psych about some things and tomorrow it's the doc. Day at a time, I suppose.
As a fellow former workaholic just realising "going to the shops to buy food" is the plan for the day with recovery for a few days can be hard to take.
The mask is the default reaction and even though ya might want to talk about it, other people are going through other really hard stuff and it feels like it'll just weigh them down. I suspect my housemate is only slowly realising the extent of my limitations.
All the best.

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5 years 7 months ago #23569 by illeatyu
Replied by illeatyu on topic Depression
Ant,

Have a look at the spoon theory on you just don't look sick it's really good for explaining chronic illness to people.

Anyway, if you want to chat PM me.

Illeatyu

“All the elements in your body were forged many, many millions of years ago, in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. And came together to form you, you are unique in the universe.
The following user(s) said Thank You: Ant

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